A different kind of eating disorder…

I don’t understand why eating disorders only count if you do them to lose weight. Sometimes (ok a lot of the time) I can’t control my binge eating but I never purge so I just keep getting fat. I eat because I need to feel better and food does that. Food is my drug. Food takes away the pain if only for a moment. I can’t stop eating everything in sight. I spend most of my money on binge food and I’ve gained a lot of weight. I need help, but all the resources for eating disorders are about gaining weight and I need to stop eating myself into obesity. I don’t feel good at this weight. I feel slow and weighed down. And yet, I can’t stop.

Getting better?

I guess I started this blog because I need a place where I can log my recovery. I’m currently in therapy for a whole bunch of things and I just want to feel normal. I need to know that it gets better. I need it to get better.